a while ago, i stopped getting lunch at my workplace cafe. mostly because it's always meaty and i don't eat meat. additionally, they charge $5.50 for the daily special, which i find to be slightly outrageous. even so, it doesn't stop me from perusing the menu each week.

and each week, i'm disappointed in the selection.

so, each day of the week goes by... filled with meat.

until friday... which is a half-day. where they pool leftovers together and call it a special. at a discount.


and each week, i'm disappointed in the selection.

i've conversed with the cafe manager and he (rightfully) laments that the warehouse folks won't eat healthy lunches.. and they make up the bulk of the sales.


so, each day of the week goes by... filled with meat.

until friday... which is a half-day. where they pool leftovers together and call it a special. at a discount.

recently, i was lamenting the shape of my current hooded sweatshirt with a coworker. i confessed that i had let it get tattered to the point where it was no longer suitable for "business casual" office wear. i explained to him that i had a strange desire to support a certain usa-based clothing company even tho their hoodies are near $40 and they don't last a year. i keep buying them, wearing them out, frustrating myself, and breaking down to buy another one.
because, i do enjoy myself a brand new hoodie.

unfortunately, with daily use, these billion-dollar-hoodies don't hold up. they end up wearing out in the elbow and make me look homeless.

now, every time i see an isthmus

i know the belt or scarf they're trying to sell me won't last further than i can throw it.

because, i do enjoy myself a brand new hoodie.

unfortunately, with daily use, these billion-dollar-hoodies don't hold up. they end up wearing out in the elbow and make me look homeless.

now, every time i see an isthmus

i know the belt or scarf they're trying to sell me won't last further than i can throw it.

sorry it's been so long...
so i was looking for a new pad of paper for work and i thought i could probably tack on a new pen to round out the ensemble. after being sorely disappointed in the decline of office supplies (rsvp pens? really?), i noticed the top of a box of pencils. in order to check the brand (the boyfriend likes ticonderoga), i had to pull the box out.

... what?

CRAYONS? wheretf have i been? why didn't i know that *crayons* is *french* for *pencils*!? i felt embarrassed, and a little annoyed.

after further thought and deconstruction of all that i thought to be true...

i realized "crayola" must mean "wax".
so i was looking for a new pad of paper for work and i thought i could probably tack on a new pen to round out the ensemble. after being sorely disappointed in the decline of office supplies (rsvp pens? really?), i noticed the top of a box of pencils. in order to check the brand (the boyfriend likes ticonderoga), i had to pull the box out.

... what?

CRAYONS? wheretf have i been? why didn't i know that *crayons* is *french* for *pencils*!? i felt embarrassed, and a little annoyed.

after further thought and deconstruction of all that i thought to be true...

i realized "crayola" must mean "wax".
office-types try to bribe their workers into having a good time when the going gets rough. my employer does the bulk of sales at the end of the year, and we're asked to help out on the phones or in the warehouse... so they offer free hot beverages through december 31 to keep us awake and motivated. when the email goes out, the expected response is as has been previously
noted:

first up is the coffee from our in-house cafeteria; it's barely passable, hardly drinkable, watered down slew. i won't even bother with it if i happen to forget my own coffee at home.
that's right, you heard me.

it gets even more watered down during december because of the increased volume required to sustain those who won't pay for it the rest of the year.
what's worse is the vending machine coffee, to which my coworkers and i fondly refer as "ass coffee".

it's an even greater insult than the stuff from the cafe because it's a machine.
the final result of these efforts usually ends up as follows:


first up is the coffee from our in-house cafeteria; it's barely passable, hardly drinkable, watered down slew. i won't even bother with it if i happen to forget my own coffee at home.
that's right, you heard me.

it gets even more watered down during december because of the increased volume required to sustain those who won't pay for it the rest of the year.
what's worse is the vending machine coffee, to which my coworkers and i fondly refer as "ass coffee".

it's an even greater insult than the stuff from the cafe because it's a machine.
the final result of these efforts usually ends up as follows:

last sunday morning, i awoke to an all-too-familiar feeling of a urinary tract infection. anyone who's ever had one of these knows exactly the agonizing and acute pain they cause. the constant feeling of needing to urinate, producing barely anything, and the slow burning sensation that follows such a pitiful attempt at relieving oneself.
i drove to urgent care and waited in the lobby with all the other sniffling, sad looking people. after painfully peeing in a cup, i finally got to see a physician's assistant... she told me i had a bladder infection.

so i got my 'scrip for anything other than penicillin, as i'm allergic, and since i could barely stand to walk, i got some of those pills that make your pee stain the toilet.

after a week of diligently ingesting my nitrofurantoin, i woke up in the middle of the night *burning* up. i couldn't sleep, my body was radiating such heat that i was sweating and shivering and my skin hurt. i was convinced that i had the flu... i barely called in sick to work and fell back to sleep.
a couple hours later, when the sun was up and i could see, i looked down at my legs and realized that i was having an allergic reaction to the antibiotics.

i had hives. all over. and all of my tattoos were swollen.

i spent the rest of the day either asleep or miserable.
i drove to urgent care and waited in the lobby with all the other sniffling, sad looking people. after painfully peeing in a cup, i finally got to see a physician's assistant... she told me i had a bladder infection.

so i got my 'scrip for anything other than penicillin, as i'm allergic, and since i could barely stand to walk, i got some of those pills that make your pee stain the toilet.

after a week of diligently ingesting my nitrofurantoin, i woke up in the middle of the night *burning* up. i couldn't sleep, my body was radiating such heat that i was sweating and shivering and my skin hurt. i was convinced that i had the flu... i barely called in sick to work and fell back to sleep.
a couple hours later, when the sun was up and i could see, i looked down at my legs and realized that i was having an allergic reaction to the antibiotics.

i had hives. all over. and all of my tattoos were swollen.

i spent the rest of the day either asleep or miserable.
i do a lot of commuting to and from work; spending a minimum of one hour per day in my car. it gets worse/longer in the winter because of the careful driving and paranoid rear-wheel drivers. i have a lot of time to think about how others use their vehicles... the other morning, i was behind this little beetle while merging onto packers from aberg. everyone always gets into the middle lane (at least), because the right lane is for airport/matc/interstate people.

so this lady sorta slides over into the middle lane in front of me without signaling.

and settles into the lane.

as i approach, i see her bumper sticker (the likes of which i've previously turned my nose up at) and notice the biodiesel sticker.


so this lady sorta slides over into the middle lane in front of me without signaling.

and settles into the lane.

as i approach, i see her bumper sticker (the likes of which i've previously turned my nose up at) and notice the biodiesel sticker.

to which i verbally exclaim, "guess your blinkers aren't soybean-powered."
as mentioned elsewhere, a co-worker and i try to get up and out of our seats a couple times per day. when the weather does not permit going outside, we end up walking down the hallway past the in-house cafe where there's usually a slight smell of whatever they're serving that day.
on most occasions, the scent is pleasant enough... sometimes it's barely even there, and we pass without incident.

other times, they're preparing a disgusting amount of bacon and it permeates the air with such tenacity that it sticks to everything and we end up walking back stinking of pork.

on most occasions, the scent is pleasant enough... sometimes it's barely even there, and we pass without incident.

other times, they're preparing a disgusting amount of bacon and it permeates the air with such tenacity that it sticks to everything and we end up walking back stinking of pork.

i don't really sleep that poorly. we have a comfy mattress and plenty of blankets...

we roll around a bit and switch sometimes.

why is that?

we roll around a bit and switch sometimes.

but there's that one minute before the alarm is about to go off...

when the bed suddenly feels like you're floating on a king-sized cloud and the last thing you want to hear is "beep! beep! beep! beep!"


when the bed suddenly feels like you're floating on a king-sized cloud and the last thing you want to hear is "beep! beep! beep! beep!"

why is that?


